I will say I loved that.
Was it 3D? It has been a while since I have seen that kind of program used and it was amazing.
I loved the overall way everything was used and i can see the effects you used as well, that was very well animated and it would be great to see if you could use that again for another animation.
Could have spent the time over extra mounths though so that it did not clash with your rest and work, but another would be a great thing to see.
Also yes you did get the message across and I left thinking it was a very good animation rather than it could have been better.
I am not sure how the program still works as I have not used it in a long time, but you could try and add an image over the top of the basic bodies as there was one point where you could see the person bending and his back was in segments.
Over all a great animation.